Why Do You Keep Attracting the Wrong Partners?

In Maya's teaching, this is a scenario — a repeating pattern of roles, beliefs, and programs learned early and replayed in relationship after relationship. Attachment research confirms that early experience shapes adult relationship patterns.

A scenario is a repeating pattern: the roles a person steps into, the beliefs that run them, and the situations that keep returning. The partner changes, while the scenario stays the same.

Yes — attachment theory, developed by John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, is the most researched framework for how early bonds shape adult relationship patterns, and it confirms the reality of repetition.

The evidence is more nuanced: at least one peer-reviewed study found anxious individuals were more attracted to other anxious partners than to avoidant ones — the dramatic “magnetic pull” story is thinner than the popular version suggests.

Through early experience — family histories, relationships with parents, beliefs and programs received in childhood. Maya describes it as lived at the level of the body, the emotions, the feelings, and the events of life.

Yes — a pattern formed through repeated experience is transformed through repeated practice. New conditions, held in the body and in attention, can rewrite the old connections and change what a person is drawn to.

Rarely on its own. Maya's work goes through the body, the breath, and attention as much as through insight: recognizing the scenario as it arises, feeling where it lives in the body, and practicing a different response until it becomes the new pattern.

The scenario is the constant. Different partners can repeat the same experience; when the scenario changes, the choice of partner can change with it.

In Maya's teaching, yes — family stories and inherited scenarios are often the source of the repeating pattern. Research on intergenerational patterns points the same way.

Recognition is the first step of the work. Change needs repeated practice: new conditions in the body and attention, held long enough to become the new default.

Maya is honest that the path is not short or simple — it unfolds through steady practice. Each recognized scenario, each new response, deepens the change.

No — the same scenarios repeat in friendships, family, and work. Working with the pattern can touch all of these relationships.

Self-awareness is the beginning of the work. Programs and group practice provide the held conditions — attention, safety, structure — in which new patterns can take root. This practice does not replace psychological or medical care, and acute distress calls for a specialist.

Maya's approach keeps the work embodied: insight is balanced with practice, so understanding supports living, and living deepens the understanding.

The Basics of Life Level 1 program is the foundational course for working with life scenarios, relationships, and self-worth. Her free guided meditations on YouTube introduce attention and inner work step by step.