Self-Compassion: A Practical Guide

In Maya Mandala's teaching it is the way of meeting the self — the errors and the guilt met without the verdict, forgiveness given, growth from it. The compassion is practiced in the attention, the body, the day.

Self-esteem is the valuation of the worth; self-compassion is the attitude toward the self — the honesty and kindness of how one is met. The valuation rises and falls; the attitude is the ground of it.

The loop of comparison, judgment and criticism — the part of the story that never rests. In the practice it is seen as the voice of the old judge, and it is met in the honest state: seen, named, and released in its run.

Because the guilt is stored with the experience: what was lived is judged before it is seen. The practice is the work of the order — first the acceptance, then the forgiveness, then the growth of the day.

The practice of the witness: the day looked at honestly — with the strengths and the flaws — and no verdict rendered either way. The look is the first act.

The guilt of the past is the completing work: the experience accepted, the self forgiven, the others forgiven. Through the practice — the meditation, the movement, the breath — the guilt is let through, and the loop ends.

The perfectionism is the old pressure: the feeling that everything must be right, and the mistake cannot be. In the practice it is met with gentleness — the mistakes are the way of the growth, and the perfectionism is let go in the day.

The opposite: guilt and judgment drain, honesty and kindness ground. Growth comes more easily from supported ground.

The lineage is met and acknowledged as it is — the denial and the idealizing let go, the judgment released. The parents and the ancestors accepted, the self forgiven in the practice; and the peace of it is where the compassion grows.

The research of Kristin Neff links treating yourself with kindness, in place of constant judgment, with less anxiety, less depression and greater resilience. The practice and the finding agree: the judgment drains, the kindness grounds.

It is the opposite of it: the compassionate one sees the day honestly and carries it, with the mistakes and the tiredness — the lazy one looks away. The practice is the honest carrying, with the kindness.

The way of the practice: the gentleness of the day, the body met, the breath completed, the mistake seen and let through. The same gentleness carried toward the self, the day carries toward the others.

The scenarios are the field of the practice: the judgment and the guilt of the family walked through in the deep work — the acceptance, the forgiveness, and the rest of the script. The compassion of the self is the beginning of the change.

When the guilt or the judgment carries the day, professional support is the right foundation — the practice walks alongside it, as the daily support.

Start with the witness: three minutes a day — the state of the day looked at as it is, and the judgment noticed. The Basics of Life program works with the family history and the ground of the practice, and the free meditations of the channel are the natural first step.